Lyriikat

Poets of the Fall - Illusion and Dream

Look in my eyes I'll make you see
We're drifting aimlessly
Blind in a world of make believe

Hear them sing their songs off key n' nod like they agree
Buying the needs to be discreet

I've got no hand in matters worldly
I hardly care at all
What's going on fails to concern me
'Cause I'm locked behind my wall
But you know what drives me out
Out of my mind oh

It's whatever makes you see
Makes you believe
And forget about the premonition you need to conceive
The images they sell are Illusion and Dream
In other words dishonesty

If I speak ill please, humour me
Won't rant on endlessly
Just thought I'd try to make you see

It doesn't solve a thing to dress it, in a pretty gown
A stone will not need you to guess if, you're still going to drown
So you know what drives me out
Out of my mind, oh

It's whatever makes you see, makes you believe
And forget about the premonition you need to conceive
The images they sell are Illusion & Dream
In other words dishonesty

So can you name your demon?
Understand it's scheming
I raise my glass and say "Here's to you"

Can you chase your demon?
Or will it take your freedom?
I raise my glass and say "Here's to you"

I've got no hand in matters worldly
I hardly care at all
What's going on fails to concern me
'Cause I'm locked behind my wall
But you know what drives me out
Out of my mind oh

It's whatever makes you see
Makes you believe
And forget about the premonition you need to conceive
That the images they sell are Illusion and Dream
In other words dishonesty

So whatever makes you see
Makes you believe
And forget about the premonition you need to conceive
The images they sell are Illusion and Dream
In other words dishonesty
With silence comes peace
With peace comes freedom
With freedom comes silence


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -


Jane Siberry - It Can't Rain all the Time

We walked the narrow path,
beneath the smoking skies.
Sometimes you can barely tell the difference
between darkness and light.
Do you have faith
in what we believe?
The truest test is when we cannot,
when we cannot see.

I hear pounding feet in the,
in the streets below, and the,
and the women crying and the,
and the children know that there,
that there's something wrong,
and it's hard to belive that love will prevail.

Oh it won't rain all the time.
The sky won't fall forever.
And though the night seems long,
your tears won't fall forever.

Oh, when I'm lonely,
I lie awake at night
and I wish you were here.
I miss you.
Can you tell me
is there something more to belive in?
Or is this all there is?

In the pounding feet, in the,
In the streets below, and the,
And the window breaks and,
And a woman falls, there's,
There's something wrong, it's,
It's so hard to belive that love will prevail.

Oh it won't rain all the time.
The sky won't fall forever.
And though the night seems long,
your tears won't fall, your tears won't fall, your tears won't fall
forever.

Last night I had a dream.
You came into my room,
you took me into your arms.
Whispering and kissing me,
and telling me to still belive.
But then the emptiness of a burning sea against which we see
our darkest of sadness.

Until I felt safe and warm.
I fell asleep in your arms.
When I awoke I cried again for you were gone.
Oh, can you hear me?

It won't rain all the time.
The sky won't fall forever.
And though the night seems long,
your tears won't fall forever.
It won't rain all the time
The sky won't fall forever.
And though the night seems long,
your tears won't fall, your tears won't fall,
your tears won't fall
forever.

Osasto numero X

Kylmä ja sateinen kesä lähenee loppuaan ja syksyn myötä palasin minäkin osastohoitoon. Koen päivästä toiseen samaa ahdistavaa tyhjyyttä, vaikka olisin rakkaideni seurassa. Välillä toivoisin, että sairastaisin jotain toista tautia, jotain... konkreettista? Fyysistä? Kuitenkin jotain selkeää minkä voi parantaa. On niin vaikeaa kun ihmiset kyselee mitä teen kun en kerran opiskele ja miksi en opiskele / käy töissä. En kaipaa ihmisten sääliviä tai paheksuvia katseita. En tiedä kumpi on pahempi, ihmiset joiden mielestä "mielisairaat" ovat vain laiskoja paskoja, vai ihmiset jotka suhtautuvat säälien ja surkutellen. Millaista suhtautumista sitten kaipaisin? En osaa sanoa.

Onneksi puolisoni käy vierailemassa lähes päivittäin, yksin on vaikea jaksaa täällä muiden sekopäiden seurassa. Toisinaan kaipaan eräälle toiselle osastolle, jossa olen ollut hoidettavana eri mittaisia jaksoja vuosien ajan, mutta tämä laitos on sen verran kauempana kotoa, ettei kukaan juuri pääsisi vierailemaan.

Kesä meni kohisten ja harmittaa ettei ehtinyt tehdä enempää. Ehkä sitten ensi kesänä, vaikka rahaa tuskin silloinkaan on ylimääräistä. Uskomatonta, että saan varmaan triplasti sen verran rahaa millä ennen pärjäsin opiskellessa, mutta johonkin se kaikki tuntuu katoavan silmänräpäyksessä. Tilapäinen työkyvyttömyyseläke joka maksetaan kuntoutustukena, takuueläke ja eläkkeensaajan asumistuki ovat tulonlähteeni, mutta silti tuntuu ettei raha riitä. Auto ja lemmikit syövät paljon rahaa, samoin sairaalahoito ja ehkä lääkkeetkin. Pitäisi varmaan laatia kunnon budjetti jos keskittyminen riittäisi siihen. Olen myös yrittänyt aloittaa kunnolla tarkasti ja runsaasti miettimäni romaanin kirjoittamista, mutta saa nähdä mitä siitä tulee.